As many of the one’s who is new to writing blogs, I do not know where to start. So I start from today. And today I failed. Failed with an attempt to draw a lovely cafe in Berlin where I went after a flat viewing appointment. I was trying really hard to catch all the nice detail of the sophisticated coffee paraphernalia and the atmosphere. Then I started working on the light and volumes when it went down on me that the drawing is an absolute disaster. Lot’s of details but flat and dull. It upset me quite a lot, however, also made me realise why I’ve been so depressed and unsatisfied with myself and my art lately. And that is why:
Simply it was a lack of practice. A lyte [sic] drawing study, gesture drawing, doodling images from my mind, transforming real people to monsters and heroes. But I was so concentrated on setting myself as a freelancer, sorting out my documents (I am a Russian in Germany), all that bits and bobs and getting bulked down with day to day sundry tasks. Some awful things had happened to me last year and It just added to it as an aftertaste. I just forgot something which is the most important, something that makes me happy. And it is my ability to make a picture of what I see and also an ability to actually show how I see it. And also how important os to keep yourself fit. Keep yourself fit in whatever you do. Today my little failure showed it to me and instead of just dragging myself home and pity myself, on the way to the station I took my sketchbook out and started to draw. More. And more. It was a beautiful sunny but hazy day. The very end of winter and it felt like spring is already here. Silhouettes of the trees just asked to be pictured. New drawings came out much better! Each new already better than the previous one. And very fast. To catch the air, to capture the mood. My little dog supported me and I drew how he was running ahead. All that awakened me and made me feel more confident and inspired. Inspired to continue with whatever I want to do using my talents and skills, with my art.
Remember, if you try to do something and you fail, just take it seriously. Do some studies, then practice a bit more and then… loads more! Keep learning. And you shall see that it is going to get better. You shall see your good (and bad) results. Your success. Does it make you happy? If it does you are on the right way. I think I am on the right way for me. I guess that at some point you may start to think that it has gotten worse but maybe it is another level up and new higher standards?
That is my beginning of writing a story. A story of my ups and downs, my art, my monsters. It’s more personal than otherwise and now it’s just important to keep it up. (And maybe my writing also is going to get better.)
So let’s begin. Shall we?